Constantines lover found the cross of Christ
and a spear nearby
presumably one that jabbed his sides
and started the whole relic fad
St. Nicholas of Myra was a rebel
until the church and state took on the christian banner
put him on a pedestal and devoured his flesh
his bones they placed in an ornate coffin
at sea level
and anounced a miracleMana water
flowed out of his bonessold to rich pilgrims
seeking proof and truth and guidance
seven sailors of Bari came with latino convictions
hired by the roman church
they stole the bones of St. Nick
cause they sorely needed some relics
his bones they placed in an ornate coffin
at sea level
and behold a miracle occured
priests said
mana water flowed from his perfumed skull
by joule tide on pine tree carpets
the gnome eats his porridge
and watches out for naughty kids
Thomas Nast gave us the jolly fat man
in the 18th century
internationalised
from Catholic relic to
no-
mans-land
the north pole
The Coca-Cola company praised the jolly fat man
in a sleigh of a train of corporate trailers
roped in blinding colourful lights
Santa Clause monopolised
the merry elves
with a jolly HO HO for the middle class kids
hope you all had a messy christian
for merry christmas
and a port or two towards the new years
